Friday, February 9, 2024

Friday, January 26, 2024

New Year

Chemo continues. finished round 5, only one more to go. its cumulative, so round 4 left me feeling pretty bad a few days. also, the exhaustion is lasting now. this time, i felt worse, kind of nauseated, tender stomach, just wanting to sleep. mow, a week out, im feeling better, but stomach is easily aggravated. by which i mean hurts or feels sore after eating. a scan is being dceduled in 4 weeks, after the last chemo, to see how rhings stand. after that, radiation, though i dont know what kind or how much yet. i hope yall are off to a great year. find the good, and spread it!

Monday, November 20, 2023

Updates

First chemo aftereffects. bone pain sat night til ab mon. exhaustion started tues theu thurs. then was uphill. taste is off, so food isnt as great, though my appetite came back. hair thinned so i shaved it. rockin this look! labs were back to normal by second chemo so that got done. no problems. this time, bone pain started fri night, and exhaustion today/monday. so a full 24 hours sooner. hope i feel up to heading out for Tgiving on thurs. no nausea at all with either cycle, and im grateful for that. lets pray that continues. Happy Thanksgiving

Friday, October 27, 2023

Daily updates

Thurs chemo went well. got there at 9am. started saline and Benadryl drip. port access was easy, just a pinch. very sleepy from Benadryl. nap. started carboplatin around 9:45. no reaction, back to sleep slept til ab 12:45. ate some lunch. gave taxol. no reaction. stayed up til 3. going home time at 3:15 after port flush. no reactions. 6 hours total to monitor for reactions. next might be faster. Friday: feel normal today. eating, tasting normal. should hit me tomorrow. will update if able, or asap.

Thursday, October 26, 2023

It's go time

it is 3:51am, and i cant sleep. partly bc ive got my days and nights mixed up, but also bc its Chemo Day. At 8:30 this morning, ill see Dr R ab my labs, then if all is well, head over to the infusion center for my first round of treatment. Round, right, bc this is a fight. my sister will drive me there and pick me up, might even sit w me for a bit. and that will be most welcome, but the fact is, im on my own in this. no husband to hold my hand when the drugs go in, to share funny memes and videos to make me laugh. to get me ice or water or another blanket or snacks or ANYTHING bc hes gone. and im here. ab to sit in a chair and poison myself in an effort to live. bc i have a son, whom i love, and who needs his mama. so i will fight, with everything in me, for him. bc he is our legacy to the world. and he is a treasure, and worth everything this disease and its treatment throw at me. so lets go. lets go kick cancers ass! Jeremiah 29:11

Saturday, October 21, 2023

Let's go, I guess....

im going to try to blog my way through this cancer mess, so buckle up. The ct scan was clear except for a 5mm nodule on my lower right lung. too small to say if its cancer or not. that was a huge relief to me, bc id worked it up in my head that it was going to be everywhere. now, going forward, i will be taking 6 cycles of chemo. carboplatin and taxol. then when thats done, ill need radiation. i will lose my hair. im mentally prepared, but i know it will be emotional. esp w dh not here. this is so hard. my sister has taken me to all my appts in savannah, and is set up to handle my chemo trips too. those will be in my hometown. we have a satellite campus of the cancer center here. my mil is also on board with helping. yall, shes a rock star. shes lost all 3 of her children, but she gets up and makes the most of each day. a strong woman, indeed. ive been browsing wigs, hats, smaller clothes, ive bought claritan for bone pain, nausea meds ready, a walker from dhs kidney surgery days, snacks, soups, popsicles, mouthwash. ive talked w my 15 yr old son ab what is likely to happen, and how to help me. i cannot say enough good things ab this kid. he has such a good, good heart. hes ready and willing to see me through this, though i know hes scared. my friend in florida is planning to come in the third week after chemo, to let the boys hang out, and help me. so i have a team, small as it may be. and, lets not forget whos jn charge over all this. I will never leave you nor forsake you. and He wont. He brought me to it, He will see me through it! Gods got me! this weeks schedule is labs wed, and first chemo thurs. im not any kind of way right now, but when it gets here, yeah. gonna be a way or three then i have no doubt. alright, thats enough rambling. lets do this! endometrial adenocarcinoma stage 3 grade 2

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Well....

3 and half months in, and here I am. My life is a soap opera. Let me give the story. About a month after Dh died, I went to the gyno for my yearly exam. He found a mass. Did a...probe, adn foumd a grapefruit sized cyst on my right ovary. Did the blood cancer test, and my marker was 125. I ddin't worry too much, as a cyst can cause high numbers. He was going to send me to a dr local for surgery, but when the marker came back, he routed me to a gyn oncologist. Yeah, you see where this is going. :( She did the surgery, robotically, got out the syst, also on on my left ovary, along with ovarys, tubes, and uterus. Sent them off for pathology, and I stayed the night in hospital. Results were cancer in both ovaries and uterus. Endometrial stage 3. Not in surrounding tissue or lymph nodes. So right now I'm waiting to be insurance approved for a chest/abdomen scam to see if it's spread there. I'm healing well from surgery, did not need a walker, was up and moving about same day I came home. But cancer, yall. I have cancer, and no husband. Yay me. My will is completed, with instructions for my 14 yr old sons future. I've been talking to sister about my wishes on this and that, just in case. She's really stepped up, taking me to the dr, showing up for my surgery, along w nephew, too. Theres a story there, not sure if I shared it during covid or not. I'm glad, weve never been close, 12 years between us, but I do love her. Anyway, she, and my MIL have really been good support. MIL went through lung cancer a few years ago, so she has some insight. I'm trying to keep my eyes on God. He already knows how this turns out anyway. I won't say I didn't go through a VERY dark phase after Dh died. I'm not proud of it, let me be clear. I's a wonder I still have a steering wheel on my car, or a voice. Also a wonder if He forgives me the things I said, called Him, and thought during that time. I have repented, and mybe one day I'll tell that story. But I have to get through this first. I can tell you, grieving for Dh kind of took a back seat to this. Bc as much as I hate being there without DH, leaving our son is not a option I want or choose. My focus is on him, and surviving, God willing. Dh isn't coming back, but son is still here and needs lifelong guidance, and I'm his mom. But I"m also praying that if I must, I let him go, into Gods hands, while I leave here for eternity. I guess I should share some happy news to brighten this, but there isn't much. I started a new job at a local elementary school cafeteria. Accepted the job two weeks after Dh died, bc I needed the longer hours. I didn't know about the cancer then. But, I hate it. It's not a fun environment as is DQ. There's me and one other lady, and the boss. Very dry people, and we all work separately, never joke around, and don't feel like a team. Widows fog is very real, bc I cannot count the damn milk right for anything. Boos took that over. How shameful. :( So depending on what treatment I need, and Dr did say I would need it, I will likely just look for something else as I heal from all this. I do not want to do this long term, even if you do get paid during summer with no work. It's not a happy place for me, but rather, depressing. Huh, not very uplifting news, I guess. I'm drawing closer to God, so theres that. So, keep praying for me, in all ways. And don't put off your annual gyn visit!! Cancer, yall. Fuck cancer. That is all.

Rang the bell!

6of 6 chemo done. Thats a wrap, folks. On to radiation!